The Dating (App) Scene
10 ways to download your way to true love—or whatever you’re looking for
Source: Everup, Kimberly Rae Miller
Photo: Tinder App
In 1727, a lonely Englishwoman by the name of Helen Morrison placed what would become the world’s first personal ad in the Manchester Weekly Journal. Poor Helen was just looking for love when she purchased a tiny piece of newspaper real estate to announce her search for a nice gentleman. But the British empire wasn’t ready for her blatant quest for companionship, and Helen was arrested shortly after and committed to an insane asylum.
Over the last 300 years, the public pursuit of a significant other has become much less stigmatizing (albeit still a little crazy-making). According to a 2013 Pew Research Poll, 59 percent of Americans think that online dating is a great way to meet people, and one in five singles between the ages of 25 and 34 has gone digital to find a date. And there’s no shortage of sites for those on the prowl: Online Dating Magazine lists more than 2,500 to choose from in the U. S. alone, and more than 5,000 worldwide.
As with most all things, the personals have gone mobile. When Tinder launched in September of 2012 it sparked an app revolution. Now, daters no longer spend hours chained to their desktops, obsessing over elaborately crafted profiles. They can search for love while in line at the grocery store, or while waiting for the elevator. Flirting now happens whenever, and wherever.
The iTunes store has exploded with apps catering to a wide range of personal preferences—age and religion, eating habits, sexual fetishes, even relationships lasting longer than a one-night-stand. Still, the app world isn’t perfect. Profiles are short on detail, and many swipers are just looking for a sidepiece. If you’re searching for a real love connection you may have to weed through booty call requests and X-rated photos before finding someone with more lasting intentions. Hillary, 28, who lives in the D.C. area, met her fiancée on Tinder, but said that “75 percent of the people on there are looking for a hookup. So if you want a relationship you need to be straightforward from the beginning.”
Whatever you’re looking for, here’s a roundup of 10 apps you may want to check out, if you haven’t already.
At First Sight
Love Connection may be relegated to the dustbin of ’90s dating shows, but the video dating clips it made famous still live on. At First Sight, the brainchild of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette host Chris Harrison, utilizes Vine technology for the 60-second video profiles its members create.
The Pros: You’ll get an authentic look at potential matches (as opposed to 10-year-old photos). Accents and adorable quirks are all there for your viewing pleasure. The app also offers video chat options for some face time before you actually meet up.
The Cons: Not super discreet for public use and very time consuming: users have to sit through 60-second profiles of every prospective match—fun at first, laborious if love is proving elusive.
Bumble
Developed by Tinder’s co-creater, Whitney Wolfe, Bumble, like Tinder, has users swipe through prospective matches, right for yes, left for no. Once a match is made, however, only the woman can initiate conversation.
The Pros: Bumble offers relief for ladies who’ve fled the online dating world after dealing with too many creeps. It also gives shyer guys a break from feeling like they’re always playing offense.
The Cons: In the case of same-sex searches either person can make the first move (which may or may not be a good thing). Prospective mates may be lost if a woman forgets to (or chooses not to) initiate contact with a match during the 24-hour grace period Bumble provides. After that window of time, the match disappears.
Clover
If you’re open to trying just about anything to find love, Clover is for you. Not only can you browse potential matches, the app will also do its best to match you with compatible singles in your area based on your preferences. Just like the old AOL chat room scene, you can jump into Clover’s chat groups, either party-room style, or to strike up a private conversation with that special stranger. Clover’s pièce de résistance is its On-Demand Dating feature, which allows users to set a time and place for a date, and then Clover picks a companion to join you.
The Pros: With no specific gimmicks, and lots of options, you can use Clover however you want.
The Cons: With the tagline “Get Lucky,” Clover is kind of geared more toward casual encounters than long-term love. The app aims to maximize exposure, meaning that everyone you liked or didn’t like can see that you viewed their profile. There are no restrictions as to who can or cannot contact you.
Coffee Meets Bagel
Quality over quantity is the idea behind Coffee Meets Bagel, created by three sisters who’d had it with offensive messages. CMB uses your Facebook contacts as a source for potential matches, or “Bagels,” and promises discretion as it searches for friends of friends to match you up with. The app encourages users to take their time considering each match, and sends just one Bagel a day for consideration. Only after both parties have tapped “Like” can contact be initiated.
The Pros: CMB is geared more toward serious relationship seekers. Catfishing is non-existent as potential partners are chosen from your friends’ friends lists.
The Cons: Those 24-hours between Bagels can leave you feeling hungry if you’re the proactive type. Also, you run the risk of being matched with someone you already know and don’t particularly like … for instance, your ex.
Grouper
If you’re looking for a little adventure in your blind-dating life, Grouper is for you. Like other apps, it allows you to anonymously browse friends-of-friends on Facebook, but when you match, the app automatically sets you up on a date of its choosing—no awkward texts or hemming and hawing over where to go. The hitch? It’s a six-person outing: you bring two friends and your date brings two friends. Danielle Page, the Founder of This is Quarter Life is a big fan: “I’ve been on three Grouper dates and while none of us actually clicked with the guys we were matched with, I’ve never had a bad time,” she said. “Also, the friends you bring along don’t have to be single. One time I took my mom and grandma with me as my wing women and it was pretty hilarious.”
The Pros: Safety in numbers. Also, you’re more likely to relax and just be yourself when you’re with a group of your friends. Whether or not there’s a love connection, you’ll probably end up with a great story.
The Cons: The app is only New York City-based for now. And while a six-person date can certainly feel less pressured, it could make for some awkward moments if, for instance, more than one party is vying for the attention of a single suitor.
Happn
Are you more homebody than party animal? If you’re tired of running around town to meet people, this app is for you. Happn uses your phone’s GPS function to match you with people you’ve crossed paths with—literally and figuratively. Whenever you pass a fellow Happn user his or her profile shows up on your phone. If you both like each other a match is made; if only one party is interested, it’s not. If you’d prefer not to see someone’s profile again, you just click the Cross button.
The Pros: If you live in a densely populated area you’re bound to find lots of interesting matches. For users in more rural communities, matches may be fewer and far between. Additionally, the app displays the number of mutual friends you have, and your common interests.
The Cons: If you’re a sweaty mess after a spin class you’d probably prefer not to show up on a hot prospect’s radar as you pass each other on the street. The app also displays a potential match’s place of employment and job title, which on the one hand allows you to vet them, but could also open you up to digital stalking.
Once
Once uses honest-to-goodness matchmakers to help you find love. Users undergo a serious vetting process, which includes an extensive questionnaire and photo approval, so the team of matchmakers had a solid base of personal info.
The Pros: This app is geared toward a relationship-minded crowd. The lower volume of matches (one per day) gives you time to digest potential dates. Matches are not made via algorithm; there’s a real-life person comparing profiles and preferences to try to fix you up with someone they think is compatible.
The Cons: Like Coffee Meets Bagel, users are only sent one match a day. You’re putting your trust in a stranger’s hands to be your digital wingman or -woman.
Precisely
Precisely is an app for the detail-oriented dater. Users describe what they’re looking for in a partner by choosing non-negotiables from a list of 200 filters. So if your dream love is a redheaded Baha’i with a big booty and freckles, who plays lacrosse and loves karaoke, Precisely has your back. While the app doesn’t guarantee matches to a T, it ranks potentials based on the percentage of your criteria they meet. If you’re looking for a little feedback, Precisely will also let you know which search criteria you most commonly come up in for other users.
The Pros: Precisely can be a time saver for daters with a list of deal-breakers. To ensure your privacy, the app allows you to block anyone on your Facebook friends list from seeing your profile. Additionally, the app includes trans-friendly options for both personal profiles and partner preferences.
The Cons: As a relative newcomer, Precisely isn’t available in every city, and as of this writing had fewer than 3000 active users.
Score
Score is the dating game. This app makes you work for your matches, requiring users to answer telling personal questions at the same time as their potential match. The better you “match” the more details about the other person you learn. Users can’t see potential dates’ profile unless they score well enough on the compatibility quiz. Couples with high scores unlock features like additional photos and chat features.
The Pros: Score is so fun you might forget there’s a date waiting on the other end.
The Cons: The app allows other users to see that you’ve rejected them. And even if you’re initially into the dating-game aspect, it’s easy to get distracted (or lose interest) before gaining access to a match’s personal profile.
Tinder
What’s a dating app roundup without Tinder? If, as they say, dating is a numbers game, Tinder is lightyears ahead of the competition with more than 50,000,000 active users per month. In the event you really don’t know how it works, users swipe through potential partners (based on your Facebook profile), right if you’re attracted, left if you’re not.
The Pros: A huge client base, which can increase your odds of finding someone you click with.
The Cons: As Tinder bride-to-be Hillary says, the app is first and foremost a hookup site, since users are judged on their appearance. Personality matches can be harder to make.
Whichever app (or apps) you choose, Erica Morgan, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach in New York City who specializes in preparing singles for success in the dating world, had some advice for getting the most out of your digital dating experience. She said it’s easy to get swipe happy to pump up your self-esteem when your mailbox fills with interested strangers. But an overflowing inbox can quickly become overwhelming. She suggested taking things slowly, otherwise you’ll get anxious and end up deactivating your account. “Being picky is a good thing, especially for beginners,” she said.
Morgan also emphasized the importance of taking time to be clear on your needs and desires before jumping in with both feet: “Ask yourself, am I looking for a steamy hookup, a few free dinners, or a long-term relationship? Once that’s clarified, make sure to share those expectations with your dates, so you’re both on the same page.”
http://www.everup.com/2016/02/11/about-dating-apps-descriptions-best-worst/?utm